I miss...

Today I woke up missing everything… Missing each little part of what I considered to be my (happy) life. Missing people, missing family…

Sometimes the day starts – like today – and I just pass through the hours without feeling them. I just use the air, the food and the water around to keep alive. And I study (or a kind of…) for Monday tests.
Living is something rare nowadays. (For me, sure!) It’s the kind of thing I just do when I’m at Porto Alegre, or in the few moments I spend laughing with my friends.
These bad feelings about life were already happening in the last months, but it got really serious after hurting my foot. Now, I miss much more things and everything seems to be more difficult…
I miss riding my bike at the beach on sunny days
I miss walking down the streets
I miss not staying in bed all weekend long
I miss laughing at the life
I miss waking up in the morning in a good mood

Just the other day, a couple of days ago, I went myself to a store, were I’d bought my new glasses. It’s something like three and a half blocks from my house. When I got there, I cried. Instead of crying because of the pain, I cried because of the happiness. The happiness I felt to get there walking. Seeing the stores, the clothes and shoes, the people walking on a hurry! How fast could their feet walk? That’s really fantastic!

Today, 16 days passed from my accident. And I still can’t walk, just the necessary to go to work. I still need to sleep with a gadget that fixes my foot and don’t allow it to move. I still need to warm my foot twice a day during 20 minutes.
I don’t know when I will achieve the cure to my foot.
But I’m afraid that, if it takes so long, my foot will be ok, but my mind will be sick.
Because I’m full of all this “not-living” (again).